Life causes cancer. Eat more bacon!
You hear that? That cacophonous wail, the mad thumping of ten million gristle-encrusted chests from here to the American Cancer Society? Fear not. It’s just the howl of America’s army of baffled paleo...
View ArticleYour awesomely meaningless life, in one simple chart
Do you know how valuable you are? How much you contribute to the collective bungee jump that is human existence, how much you mean to the world, your loved ones, the planet, this insane madhouse swirl...
View ArticleYour brain is neither male nor female. Discuss.
Bad news, bro. You have the same brain as a girl. Bad news, girlfriend. You have the same brain as a bro. Bad news, sexists, gender demagogues, binary enthusiast, homophobes and genderphobes and...
View ArticleCan anything stop America’s savage gun epidemic?
Guns are America’s greatest shame. A numb, unquestioned fetish for ultra-violence combined with a warped conviction that gun ownership somehow equals freedom, or safety, or that it represents a...
View ArticleStudy: Live happy and healthy and die soon anyway
Good news! All that stress and unhappiness so many millions of humans feel pretty much all the time, because existence? It probably won’t affect health or longevity much, after all. Is it not a bit...
View ArticleJesus in America today: Spit upon, beaten, banned
Here is Jesus H. Christ, walking around modern America, right now. Can you imagine him? Here is, in other words, a dark-skinned, bearded, unkempt Middle Eastern Jew, acting all kinds of suspicious,...
View ArticleThe smartest thing you’ll read this year
No, really – this has become one of the must-reads of the year, every year since its inception back in 2000, not merely for the digiterati, but for anyone interested in (profoundly wary, but also)...
View ArticleFarewell and good riddance from San Francisco, Super Bowl
Can we say it now? Is it safe? Are all those Homeland Security bros and confused-looking U.S. Army personnel, with their assault rifles, bomb-sniffing dogs and nervous glares, on their way back to...
View ArticleFeel the Bern or Give ‘em Hill, but please, chill out
How to put this delicately? With all due respect and while hoping to avoid kicking the political hornet’s nest, all over again? Oh, screw it: Chill the hell out, rabid Bernie evangelists. Believe me, I...
View ArticleTrump: No longer fun, now just terrifying
That headline isn’t exactly true. There’s still a fair amount of delight to be had watching the Republican Party disintegrate in the acid bath of its own devising. There’s still oceans of schadenfreude...
View ArticleHorrible parents choose Trump!
The questions are as timeless as they are morally imperative: How to pass on the most helpful values and ideals to your children? How to best ensure their safety and integrity as they grow? And what of...
View ArticleCheer up! Rush Limbaugh is not long for this world
Politics got you down? Insane climate change data making you queasy and fatalistic? Wishing the legislators of North Carolina and Florida and Mississippi, et al would fall off the map and move to Abu...
View ArticleGeneration Uber: The world’s most annoyingly entitled?
It probably won’t last long. There will surely be another painful correction, another tech bubble burst, an impressively horrible socioeconomic downspin wrought of, well, who knows what. Global...
View ArticleObama’s memoirs are going to be extraordinary
Don’t take my word for it: Read through Jonathan Chait’s marvelous “5 Days That Shaped a Presidency” over in New York Magazine, and then click to Vanity Fair’s latest, wherein Obama chats fluently...
View ArticleSpringtime! And the scent of the FBI is in the air
Springtime! Wildflowers, birdsong, bees doing their thing, bright new growth, more daylight and more sunshine and the expectant tremble of fresh possibilities in the world, all mingling, twirling,...
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